October 2012
2 posts
From DUST to InDUSTry
Have you ever looked around and realized that everything is utterly fantastic? It used to not happen as much for me, but I’m working on it, and this morning it really hit me. I’m in Madison, Wisconsin - a city that some people would argue is incredibly ugly with its ecclectic mix of once “modern” architecture, yet a city that others are convinced is the most beautiful place...
Priorities
I’m kind of over this whole college thing.
I don’t care to study, I don’t care to go out, I don’t care to stay in. All I really want to do is play guitar and read good books and go on pretty runs. It is so beautiful outside all the time. When I run in nature is when I feel the greatest detachment from this life, and it is when I am most calm. I don’t think that is a...
September 2012
4 posts
Philippians 4:4-9
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Phil 4:6-7).
The Lord takes all of our worries and imperfections and makes them perfect. We must be meek, and have true dependence on God,...
Drowning
I’ve been feeling really good lately. I’ve been feeling on top of my shit.
I’ve got a great living situation, sitting pretty in a sorority house with 50 of my closest friends. My amazing boyfriend lives about three blocks down from me. My classes are challenging, but for the mot part interesting and I know I need them all to succeed in the future. I just got admitted into the...
“For I know well the plans I have for you…plans for your welfare and not...”
– Jeremiah 29:11-12
A Work in Progress
So I’m on this retreat team at my church..
And everyone is so fricken holy. They have such amazing relationships with God! And it completely freaks me out.
I am seriously bipolar when it comes to my relationship with God. I know that I want to have one, I know that I want it to be strong, and yet sometimes I doubt that I have anything there at all. Of course, at other times it feels as if...
August 2012
11 posts
“Let us … be overtaken by the reconciliation that God has given us in...”
– Pope Benedict XVI
Show time
Well, it’s really happening.
My bags are (almost completely) packed, my alarm is set, and the cocoons in my stomach have been transformed into dozens of butterflies.
My parents are driving me tomorrow morning to Madison. We’re picking my boyfriend up on the way, and the first thing we’re doing upon arrival is going to mass. What better way to kick off the new school year!
Like...
That golden rule
One of the most frustrating, but also the most inspiring, things about Catholicism is that one can never do enough. There are always more prayers to pray, more people to help, more masses to attend. Therefore, the trick is to find a balance that works for every individual.
That is something I have struggled with, and I will probably struggle with my entire life. I love the idea of doing more, but...
“Without faith there is no hope, without hope there is no strength, no fortitude...”
– Ingrid Betancourt, political and social activist in Colombia
A gift to share
In one week and a day I will be moving back to beautiful Madison.
I’m really excited to get back into the swing of things. I’m moving into my sorority house, which will be a new experience for sure. I don’t have any sisters, but soon I will be sharing a home with about 51 of them, and I couldn’t be more excited.
My boyfriend will also be in Madison, and it will be nice...
Letting Go
I spent today at a roller coaster park with two of my friends, and it was the most fun I have had in a long time.
I didn’t worry about the things I still need for school, I didn’t consider all of the other things I could be doing with my time, I simply spent hours standing in line playing would you rather, catching up, and laughing.
Of course, the roller coasters were awesome too....
Chatting with God
I view praying like I do running: I don’t want to do it beforehand, but once I’m actually in the midst of it, I’m glad I decided to do it.
Which is not ideal. I should want to pray, I should look forward to spending time talking to God, and I know I’ll get there eventually. It’s just hard to make myself pray when there are so many other things I could be doing....
“To be that self which one truly is, is indeed the opposite of despair.”
– Soren Kierkegaard
Only one good thing worth trying to be...
…and it’s love.
That’s a Sara Bareilles song, but it’s also been my mantra this summer. Lately I’ve been a little distracted with the whole GAD thing, but I feel a lot better now and I’m trying to get back to love.
Sometimes I worry that I’m messing up. I get too into the specifics of my religion and begin to second guess my thoughts and actions. What...
Selfless love →
(Click the link. It’s an awesome article)
Physical chastity is hard. But I think it is an amazing way to put God in the center of any relationship. Love is so much more than sex.
And any time you’re tempted, just think, “Would I be happy if my future spouse was doing this with another person?” Odds are the answer is no.
The wait is beautiful. And so worth it.
He's on your team
I do not have a perfect relationship with God.
I see these people at my church, and I’m blown away by them. They’re attending daily mass, they’re fasting, they’re taking cold showers, they’re attending morning prayer, they are doing it all. And seeing it makes me tense. Because I am so not living up to what they are accomplishing for their relationship with God.
So...
July 2012
12 posts
"When I am weak, then I am strong."
St. Paul said that, and I think it’s a pretty bold statement. I am so weak right now. Today has just been an awful day. I went to the doctor this morning and was told that I probably have some combination of Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and Panic Disorder. I start daily medication tomorrow, and there’s a part of me that feels like I shouldn’t be on...
Party Hardy
I went to a party this weekend.
I go to parties a lot during the school year. Pretty much at least once a week. They’re fun!…usually.
What I don’t care for regarding parties is the need for some people to get “blackout.” I have no problem with drinking. The Catholic church has no problem with drinking. I mean, come on, we turn wine into Jesus’ blood on the...
Beautiful Life
I sometimes worry that I’m wrong. That Catholicism is not true, and that I’m doing all of this for naught. I was thinking about this as I was praying this morning and I realized that even if Catholicism didn’t exist, I don’t think I would want to live my life any differently. I have found myself through this religion. I have discovered the kind of person that I want to be....
“Do all things without murmuring and arguing, so that you may be blameless and...”
– St. Paul
Our Stronghold is the God of Jacob
I’ve been struggling lately. I haven’t been enjoying life as much as I ought to. I am so incredibly blessed and yet I let all of my fears and doubts bog me down.
In fact, I have an appointment scheduled for a week from today to see if I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). It runs in my family, along with OCD, and I’ve been showing some signs of both disorders.
It’s...
A Life Worth Living
I think a lot of people look at Catholics and feel sorry for us. People think “Oh look, they have to spend an hour at church every Sunday. They have to refrain from getting drunk. They can’t have sex.” People don’t understand what could possibly be the upside to a religion that seems to go against so much of the popular culture today.
But that just isn’t it at all....
Why Didn't I Know This? Emotional Chastity
Hi! I’m a cradle Catholic, which is cool slang for the fact that I was born into a Catholic family and raised Catholic. And not to knock my parents, they did an excellent job bringing me up, there are some things about our faith that I was never taught in church, school, or at home. I may have just been too young to fully understand it, or maybe it wasn’t viewed as very important, or...
Freakout, Cont.
So here I am sitting in my room trying to do it all. I’ve just been practicing guitar, because a small part of me is convinced that I’m still going to become a professional singer/songwriter (yeah right but I can’t help but dream), I finished my day’s worth of retyping my old AP Psychology notecards because I don’t want to go into my abnormal psychology class in...
Here I Am, Lord
I feel like I’ve been saying that a lot. This past year has been incredibly amazing, but also a bit of a struggle. I’m currently suffering through a pounding headache, so I promise to get into the details another time, but the gist of it is that I feel like God is asking something of me, specifically career wise, and I just can’t seem to get it right. Honestly, I don’t...
So I was thinking about this whole Tumblr concept, and I began to realize that I don’t really know why anyone would care enough about my life to read this. I don’t think I would read this if someone else was writing it, but it would probably help me a lot to read someone else’s journey and if anyone reads this just know that you are smarter than I am!
I guess my whole goal...
I’m anxious.
This happens every once in a while. I feel this enormous push that I have to do something. Like really do something crazy. It may just be teenage angst, but I’m almost not even a teenage anymore. I just have all this stored up energy and adrenaline and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with it. It makes me feel like my life thus far has been entirely...
